I try to stay away from the "controversial topics" here at Janie's Porch. I leave all the stirring up and talk about politics and other hot issues to the hubby over on his blog. But, I just gotta get my two cents in on this subject....even though I may be sparking off a wildfire.
I recently found myself watching a marathon of the reality series "Sister Wives" on TLC. Let me tell you, it was like a train wreck....I couldn't look away or turn the channel!
I watched in a mixture of fascination and disgust as America was introduced to this man and his three-soon-to-be-four wives. In the back of my mind, I am thinking "Why on earth am I even watching this???" But, curiosity got the better of me and I stayed tuned.
Let me just say right off to those of you who might possibly be of that religious persuasion that allows polygamy - "Sorry if I offend you. I'm not judging you, but I just don't get it."
These women, the wives, seem intelligent and articulate - and very human. They talk of how they struggle with jealousy one moment, but how much they love being in a "plural marriage" the next.
The husband - well, something about him just sorta rubs me the wrong way. He comes across - to me, and this is only my opinion - as a bit self-centered and self-absorbed. Maybe the word I'm looking for is conceited. Let me put it this way - it looks like he spends more time on his blow-dried hair than any of his wives do.
These women "share" this man, living under one roof as he passes nightly from wife to wife for their time together. The women truly seem to have developed a strong support network amongst themselves and their children. Childcare is certainly never an issue with three other moms in the house. They pool their resources and share responsibilities in the home even though they all have a designated living area for themselves and their children.
I like to think that I am an open-minded person....that I refrain from judging (because Lord knows I've been judged enough to know how destructive and hurtful that is). But, I have the following questions and issues with this matter:
How exactly does a woman "share" her husband? How does she step back and watch him have an intimate emotional and sexual relationship with three other women? Jealousy? Oh, yeah, I imagine that would be omnipresent. I know it would be my constant companion.
Logistics....try to imagine all these wives and kids (16 at the moment) in one place, all the time. The word chaos comes to my mind. I have nothing against large families, but this is a lot of people living together! And how weird would it be to know your husband is down the hall spending the night with another woman right in the same house?
And what about things from a financial perspective? Legally, only the first wife is recognized as a spouse. How does dependent health coverage work? How do they file on their tax returns?
Why is it acceptable for a man to have multiple wives, but, according to this man himself, "vulgar" for a woman to do the same. Don't even get me started on the double standard here....
Most men struggle with being sensitive to and handling one woman's feelings and needs. What equips this guy to deal with four at once??? Is he Superman? Superhuman?
And, most importantly, why does he get to have the sexy little sports car to zip around in and not have to lug kids' carseats?
Is polygamy morally sound? Biblically based? Wasn't that only in the Old Testament?
Why did these people allow television crews to come into their home? According to them, they wanted people to understand the lifestyle. But, prior to this show, they kept their family relationship hidden from some. One of the wives has even lost her job due to the exposure since her employer did not know she was in a polygamous (and consequently illegal) relationship.
It's a real "can of worms", isn't it?
I'm not going to say these people are "wrong", but I know that it is not a lifestyle I personally could deal with or adopt. Like I said before, I just don't understand it. And I could never handle it emotionally. Does that make those women "better" or "stronger" in their character and faith that they can control their emotions and deal with this situation?
So, have you watched the show? I'd love to know what your thoughts are.
Okay, that's my two cents' worth and I'm hopping down off the soapbox now. It's kinda scary up there anyway....I don't care for heights.